I'm setting my goals extremely high for 2014. I plan on it being the BEST YEAR TO DATE. And I know that it's totally achievable! Before the end of the year, I'll be setting up a few different POAs (Plans of Action) for different aspects of my life such as health and diet, Arbonne, and budget. Within each of these will be various categories such as self-improvement, monthly, weekly and daily goal setting and many, many to do lists. Those of you who know me, know my house is covered with these lists; they're EVERYYYYYYWHERE. I love stroking things off these lists and I'm so very super excited for the new year. Thank you all so much for your love and support of my blog over the past year(ish). It means a lot that I have a lot of loyal followers and I am so very grateful for each and every single one of you. Let's make 2014 your best one too! All my love and then some, Meaghan
So, for a zillion years, I've been wanting and (barely) trying to make a monthly newsletter for my Arbonne business. Today, I finally finished it! I'm super super pumped about it and hope that I can make it AMAZING and pretty and helpful to my clients. I even found out how I can link a "subscribe to my newsletter" on here! I'm going to try it and hope it works. Feel free to be my guinea pigs. Hope you are all well and that those of you out there Christmas shopping are almost done! If you need some help picking things out, I'm your girl!
I've been dealing with a variety of illnesses/plagues/inconveniences lately. I think it's my body's way of saying "getting your shit together and get back into running!" as well as "stop eating those g.d. peanut butter chocolate bars and all that delicious chocolate granola from healthy foods and more!" The cracked tooth care of the granola may also be suggesting that. I'm working on it, body. Just get rid of this last plague completely and I'll promise I'll be better to myself. In other news, care of yoga, I touched my toes for the first time. IN MY LIFE. Small Victory? Not quite. I've been trying to reach those things for years. Thank you, Beth, and my partner in crime, Gillian, for all the yoga amazingness. Sundays are one of the best parts of my week. I hope this evening finds you all well. Love and love and then some, M
So today, I watched two videos that inspired me in very different, but very much the same ways. The first video (see below) discussed how it's impossible to physically live up to media standards and how we will NEVER LOOK LIKE THE GIRLS IN ADS. The second video was about the reactions of some disabled individuals seeing themselves made into mannequins.
(I feel like I need to put a disclaimer out there: YES, I am a model. YES, I have done photoshoots and YES, they have been photoshopped. However, I also work for an agency that brings in models of all shapes and sizes from all walks of life. We are not all size 0s. In fact, most of us aren't, and this is why I feel like I can post the video below and have the negative feelings about the media and advertisements that I do.)
Cindy Crawford's comment about "I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford" really hit home for me. The alterations and digital re-vamping done completely changes how these people look. They end up not even looking like themselves! As if it's not difficult enough to survive life without comparing yourself to those around you at work or school, but there's this impossible standard in the media that consumes us. And it never ends. I'm definitely working on letting things go; realizing that I won't have the body I had when I was 16 and that if I don't have abs, WHO ACTUALLY CARES? As long as I am happy and healthy and taking care of myself, that should be enough.
The second video involved a few streams of tears. While this comes as a complete shock to no one, it was an amazing watch that reiterated the importance of inclusion; that it's okay to look the way you look and that you should always be yourself. The typical mannequin needs to invite some new buddies of different shapes, sizes and abilities into its store-front.
It's been almost a month since I last logged on. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, it's that I've let important things slide a little bit. I'm a gamer, a nerd, a League of Legends addict... and sometimes (more often lately than not), I've let it get the best of me. I have good, no, GREAT intentions of playing just two games a day and then all of a sudden, my entire evening is gone. I haven't left my bed, I've been eating non-stop, I've let the house turn into a disaster and I've stop caring about things that are important to me; friendships/relationships, my business, my house and most importantly, myself.
Tonight, I started examining my core values. I was reading a blog, written by who I call my "Arbonne Crush", Deb Borges, and she was discussing core values. No matter what people think or people say, do I let that change my core values? Do I change who I am depending on who I surround myself with? More often than not, YES. I've just decided that one of the core values I want to focus on is OWNERSHIP. I want to be accountable for my actions, my past ones, the ones I haven't yet made, and I want to learn from my mistakes and experiences. I don't want to be owned by a computer game, I don't want to care what other people think, I want to be SUCCESSFUL, I want to dream, I want to stand up for my beliefs, and I want to love myself, flaws and all. As New Year's approaches (it's not THAT far off, people), I want to come up with resolutions that are achievable and things I can be held accountable for. However, I also think it's important that the resolutions aren't so super specific that there's only one way to do them. How about "I want to take better care of myself" instead of "I want to lose 20 pounds"? If I only lose 19, then I haven't achieved my resolution and I'll likely say "forget it" and probably put that weight back on. (Emotional eater much?) I hope this entry finds you well. I will do my best to be back more often, and I'll totally take ownership if I'm not. As always, thanks for reading. Love muchly and then some, Meaghan Here is the link to Deb's blog: Alive and Empowered Blog
The pain on the inside of my mouth has subsided... aside from the one spot where I bit the inside of my cheek. Turns out "You can eat immediately" does not mean "Eat immediately". The coconut cookie bar (Healthy Foods and More: I both abhor and love you for this) was not eaten in a very classy way; coconut, chocolate and other crumbs in my car can attest to this. Considering that half of my face was frozen until yesterday afternoon, I think I did okay. I did bite my lip though and as it's a high traffic area, (care of my never-ending need to eat) it's quite raw and disgusting. I don't really like people looking at me right now because I feel like it stands out and is the only thing you can see. I don't like to feel ugly.
There, I said it.
Not shocking to any of you, I care what others think of me and my appearance constantly. I read an article today claiming that selfie picture takers are all obnoxious, arrogant "please let me show you hot I am" douche bags. Some of us selfie whores are just constantly seeking ACCEPTANCE because of our constant fear of rejection. So many truths tonight. Back to starting/finishing Catching Fire in a day. Good night, friends. xoxox, Miss God (refer to instagram for comprehension @meaghanls)
I got to have today off. I had planned on finishing with the xmas decorations and raking some leaves... Unfortunately, my trip to the dentist rendered me fairly useless. I was going in to have two cavities filled and when I got there, I found out I was having two NEW cavities filled in in addition to the two I had had from before. And naturally, they were in three different areas of my poor mouth. The first three needles didn't work on one side of my mouth, so I ended up with a fourth on the top of my mouth. Super delightful. After almost two hours and over $700 later, I was free. While I didn't get to spend my day doing the chores I desired and instead spent the day in bed playing a couple of games of League of Legends, followed by a number of hours reading, I have to say that I am super super super grateful for the coverage I have through my school. Of this large amount handed out for my teeth (to my beautiful dentist), I only have to pay $13 of it. Every day, I am thankful for my job and my co-workers (love you, teaching partner!), but the benefits I have and PENSION I get make me realize how LUCKY I am to have this job. I will never take any of it for granted. For now, I'm off to teach modeling for 3 hours. I'm hoping the pain in my head and mouth subside so that I don't feel inclined to hang out with Rob Ford and indulge in crack to make myself feel better. Much love. M
Hello, my friends! After starting to cry over a stupid joke tonight at dodgeball and slamming out the door and heading into the washroom (like the 5 year old I am), it's really hit me just how tired I am. I think I need to start napping when I get home from work or sleep when Caysee sleeps, just like mamas do with their babies. I'm ready for bed around 8 every night, but fight it off in the hopes of making it until 10 and then just end up being wide awake until at least midnight. And then I'm up again usually before 1 to let Caysee out and then every 2-3 hours after that unless she pees on the floor or right on my bed, which she has started doing. (I totally started researching doggie diapers, by the way). Other than all the peeing, Caysee seems to be doing better; I was super worried a few weeks ago. For now, I give into the writer's block and attempt to head to bed. PS - had a super super super fabulous weekend with my fam jam and at Meghan's wedding. Love, M
Light-headed spells continued into the am. They even woke me up a couple of times. They make me question my sanity. Honestly. By the afternoon, they went away... and thankfully! I've been a touch cranky with my super loud children and I had to clean my house! My new roomie moves in Saturday and my fam-jam is visiting Sunday! I'm super pumped, but in between all of that, I also have a wedding in Toronto for one of my dearest friends that I've known since grade school. I am so so so excited for this wedding! I'm going with my bestie and another friend from grade school, so it's going to be a super day. Stress relief as well that my mom is coming in tomorrow to grab my poochie and dog-sit her. No matter how cranky I get, I am always so grateful/thankful/appreciative for the people in my life. For now, I go back to resting. I got a bit of cleaning done, but am exhausted care of the past 36 hours. Much love and thanks for reading! Megs
Lots of light-headed spells today... It's been awhile. I'd hoped maybe they had ceased to exist. Regardless, all plans cancelled for tonight and I don't plan on moving from my bed until tomorrow. Much love, M Ps - That gd cactus part is still embedded in my finger.
Not cool: Sticking my hand into a cactus, getting part of it stuck in the tip of my ring finger that I can't get out, even after many attempts with tweezers and even just trying to squeeze it from underneath. Ouch. Cool: Got BBM. Pin 7AD16549. Add me. If I like you, I'll add you back. Not cool: Going to the dentist. Cool: My dentist is hot and the receptionist is hysterical. Got the morning off. Also have benefits that only require me to pay $3!!
I think care of lack of sleep (SINCE MARCH), my body is starting to fall apart. I still haven't 100% kicked this cold, I have zero desire to do anything and I'm ready for bed at 8pm every night. I'm about ready to take Caysee to every single vet in KW to figure out a solution to this bladder infection. I just want a full night's sleep. Hell, I'd be happy with even a HALF night's sleep. And I just want a day where I don't have to clean up pee. 17 times. I'm exhausted and cranky and just done. Forgive my less than decent posts as of late and if you don't happen to see many in the very near future. I hope everyone had an amazing long weekend! I did. I'm so lucky! Much much love. And then some more! - M
I bought THE most beautiful dress today for a wedding I have later this month. It is simply astounding; I cannot wait to wear it! I feel like a little kid who just wants to wear it around the house because I love it so much. Not only is it from one of my favourite stores, La Creme (not sure how to do accents on this laptop!), but it's worth over 500 dollars and I got it on sale for 99 (my dad would be proud)! October 26th just needs to get here so I can see one of my favourite people get married while I wear my new favourite dress!
In addition to my new ball gown, it's also my most FAVOURITE weekend of the entire year! Oktoberfesttttttttttttt! Best ever. I usually go tonight for opening festivities with Walter, but for the first time in a DECADE, I am going to a different venue instead. No, it's not because I've outgrown Queensmount; it's because my usual crew of people couldn't come until tomorrow. Next year, we'll go back to normal. Also, Thanksgiving!! I head up to the cottage Sunday for what promises to be simply gorgeous weather surrounded by people I adore. AND it's a long weekend! Like I could ask for anything more. I hope everyone has an AMAZING AMAZING weekend! I know I will!! Love you all to pieces, M
Exhaustion has set in and my day has been quite boring. Work was great, as always, but I've basically spent my evening in bed because I've been far too tired to really do much else. So today, my smallest victory will have been chocolate covered granola and quinoa. Mmm! Have an amazing night. Love, Meaghan
Good news, friends. My cough is on its way out! It's only taken three weeks, but I'm finally getting there. I'm hoping I'll be able to run by the end of the week. All the weight I lost from my squats, planking and every other day runs will be shed yet again, and then some. Oktoberfest this weekend! I am so so so beyond pumped. Favourite night of the year FOR SURE! And I just recruited three more of my favourite people to go. Then, off to the cottage for Thanksgiving with the fam jam and friends. I can't wait. Super short entry, but the cough starting to dwindle is a huge victory! And Oktoberfest... well, that's my xmas. And long weekends are just heaven sent. Much love, M
Almost every Monday night, I come home with a pain in my shoulder. And every Monday night, I totally don't care! No matter how I throw or what I do, I always manage to pull out my shoulder every single time I play dodgeball. On the drive home tonight, (after an INTENSE game where we totally came back from a 7-2 lead to an 8-7 win - GO US!!!), I questioned whether when my arm may or may not be of any use to me when I'm older, will it have been worth it? I mean, in spite of the intense competitiveness (Eric) and the immense swearing (Leo) and the rude claiming "I don't have eyes in the back of my head!!!" (me), I love this fucking game and the people I play it with. In 50 minutes, we get an intense work out, sometimes intense drama, lots of laughter, swearing, cheering, yelling, scrapes, pulled muscles, black eyes... and I love it. Huge love and thanks to my team! It wouldn't be the same without you. Love, Your Team Captain xox
Last night even I was speechless. And enraged. So, it was a good idea for me to steer clear of any form of writing. I simply just do not understand why people's brains often work the way they do, when all forms of common sense and human decency are erased. And the selfishness! Even though other people claim their reasoning behind what they did is for your benefit. Please.
The butterflies died last night. I had a really great chat last week where I was able to discuss my feelings and expectations, and the next day, I knew in my gut that it was the beginning of the end. I had high hopes, as I always do, but they died too. One of the things that hurts is that I feel like I have so much love to give, but that no one wants it. I don't get it.
In some of the early butterfly chats, I would always be apologizing for this and that, and I was told to "stop apologizing". To be honest, I'd never realized I was doing it. Last night, at Arbonne training (after I was awarded my gorgeous earrings!!), a woman got up to speak and was waiting for the room to quiet down. As one of my friends finished up her convo, she said "sorry!" and the woman replied "don't ever apologize. Apologizing devalues who you are as a person. You can make mistakes, but don't apologize for them." So, maybe that's what this was for me; another lesson learned about who I am and that I should never apologize for it. And if you don't want all I have to give, then you don't deserve it anyway. I have a lot of amazing ideas for entries in the future... a lot that focus on personal growth and improving your own situation; the way that I strive to improve mine every day.
I expect to bounce back in no time at all. In the mean time, I've got a gala to attend with the best and most reliable date ever. Much love my friends. M
I'm super sleepy and my brain is defunct for the moment. I feel the need to share that I'm just finishing off a tube of frozen chocolate chip cookie dough and about to fall asleep to some Grissom. Love, M
I'm happy to say I will be heading back to an old job! As of today, I accepted the chance to go back and teach modeling at my agency. I am super pumped to back with my other family. There is so much love in that place and I am excited to put forth some of my own with all of my new students. Short and sweet today. Yours, Meaghan
Oh my god, it was so gorgeous today (and still is!), so despite my incessant sniffles, I had to go for a run. It wasn't the longest or greatest ever, but it was so nice just to breathe in fresh air. Plus, there's something about the fall air that just makes my heart happy. Caysee loved it too! I made a huge to do list of things I need to get done today and while I have laboured away (pretty much all day long) I don't think I've stroked anything off of it other than "squats" and "run". I still have a couple hours before I have to be anywhere, so I'll try and smoosh piano in since I really, really need the practice. My teacher is probably like "you are the worst student I've ever had" every time I go in and haven't practiced. Haha. Then, Beertown tonight with one of my favourite people that I haven't seen in SO long! Tomorrow = bridal show! Favourite season in modeling world, hands down. Despite the whole awesomeness of wearing wedding gowns and getting all dolled up, the girls I model with are usually the same ones every show and it's like being with my family. Hope everyone is happy a super weekend! Love for life, M
I'm on the last two episodes of Gossip Girl before the series finale. Exciting Friday night. In the meantime, I'm rocking out to my celebrity boyfriend's TKO, surprised I'm still awake.
My keyboard has somehow had some of its punctuation come out en français.
Bucket list addition: Start reading french novels.
I can't believe September is almost over. Nighty night! Loveeeeeeeee, Megs
Well, my friends, my christmas is just TWO WEEKS AWAY. Oktoberfest... the best time of the whole year! And whilst I am breaking my tradition of opening night at Queensmount with Walter (who has signed my body four times), I am happy to try out a new venue with some of my favourite people (one of them being a special birthday boy!). One of my slo pitch buddies hooked me up with a code to get free tickets to Bingemans on the 12th... NO CATCH! So, naturally, I ordered 10. 4 are spoken for, so I'm looking for 6 more people who'd like to hang out, get slightly intoxicated, dance to polka and then be extremely intoxicated by 9pm! You know who you are. Long weekend. Oktoberfest. Thanksgiving weekend. My company. In other news, I'm almost fully healthy again which means that I can (thank god) start running again. Not only did I miss it, but as I got dressed after my shower today, I felt somewhat like a sausage. The binging while ill, I'm sure, had something to do with that. In the meantime, please enjoy a couple of shots from last year's festivities. As I do a countdown towards the best two weeks of the year, I'm sure I will find and/or post more. Love, love and then some more, Megs
This is possibly one of the first times in my life that I am drawing a complete blank as to what to write. I think if I try to press my inability, it's going to make it worse, so we're going to just leave it at that. Have a super rest of the evening. Love always, M
My mom is visiting and has taken my computer hostage... There's pretty much no way in hell I'm typing out a blog on my iPhone! See you tomorrow. Xox. M
I think I'm almost ready to return to the land of the living! I made my public debut tonight at our dodgeball game (clearly only as a spectator) and it was an amazing change of scenery. Super sad I couldn't play, but happy not to be in bed. I am extra tired now though... I also happened to spend a half hour this afternoon putting dishes away and folding a bit of laundry and that tedious work resulted in an hour nap. I'm a touch worried for work, but hopeful that a good sleep tonight will get me through the day! That's all I got, people. It's not much, but it will have to suffice for now.
Ooh, also, how do you feel about my new background?! Much love and health! M
Do you ever have those moments when you see something happening to someone else and can relate to that exact moment so well, it's almost like you're physically reliving it? I was just watching an episode of Gossip Girl (no judgement, please) and it's the end of an episode where Cece Rhodes has a stroke pre-surgery and the doctor comes out to tell the family there's nothing left to do but say good-bye. As Serena and Lily are each holding one of her hands, her eyes close and she dies. As I watched it, it wasn't just my usual "this is so sad" type of tears streaming down my face, I was actually full out crying because I could relate and could feel it happening as though I were in the room. In 2006, I was sitting beside my grandfather at a hospice, holding his hand. He'd been sick for awhile and this was the first chance I had made the effort to see him (and only really because my parents told me it was almost time and I needed to go). He'd gotten remarried in 2000 and had had a small, intimate gathering in front of his children and best friend, but none of the grand-children. I remember being so broken-hearted about it and I resented him for the last 6 years of his life because of it. While I was visiting with him that day, my cousin was there as well. She was reading and I was feeding Papa water every once in awhile. As I sat there, watching him and holding his wrinkly, old hand, a tear slowly made its way down his face. His last breath left his chest and I remember just staring in disbelief. "I think he's dead. I think he's dead!", I called out to my cousin. Everything after that is a bit of a blur. I think I made my way into the hall to shout for help, I remember hysterically calling my mother and other family members eventually arriving... I know I've talked to a few people about being there that day... but I don't think I've ever disclosed the part about my resentment and the guilt that ate at me for years afterwards. It still eats at me sometimes. I cry about it every once in awhile. Part of the reason I went back to school for Sociology was for him; he'd been a Professor of it. I think deep down it was a partial apology for being a bit of a fucking bitch the last few years of his life. So, there it is... One of my deep, dark secrets and possibly one of my biggest regrets. I don't have very many of the latter, but I wish I'd been a better grand-daughter those last six years... It's silly that it's Gossip Girl that brought this out of me, but I am thankful to finally be able to share it and get it off my chest, even if it's just in internet world. I've always wanted someone to forgive me for this, but I think it's time I just do it myself. Thanks, as always, readers. Love, Meaghan
Well, I'm no longer cranky. Definitely still sick. Felt totally useless and disgusting allllllll dayyyyyy long. I'll likely be hitting up the pharm tomorrow am for some sinus drugs. I went to take mine this morning and they'd expired last December. Shows you how often I get sick. Boo! I've been in bed for the last five hours and I'm already bored to tears. I'm flat out refusing to spend my entire weekend here, so I'm drinking lots of fluids and ridding myself of this ASAP. Hopefully the (entire) pizza I just forced down but couldn't taste (sad state of affairs!) is also helping. Not my finest post, but I feel like I need to make up for some inconsistencies slash, as already mentioned, I'm bored out of my mind. Happy Friday! Loving the thunderstorm!! Much love and have a super weekend! - Megs
This just in: I'm tired and can't sleep, slightly cranky and sick. No more posts until the bad mood fucks off and my head cold eats a big one. Victory for the day: I survived without getting rageful or crying. Go me! Though, I guess the day isn't totally over yet... Love, M
I had ideas of writing last night, but I was so tired at 9:30 that I forced myself to have a bath and went to sleep immediately afterward. I cannot even tell you the last time I was in bed by 11pm. Clearly this resulted in the lack of a post last night, so here we go. I've already verbalized this idea with a few friends tonight, but I feel the need to put it out there. Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy, but this is my life: My heart often feels like it is SO full of love, that it is actually impossible to give it all out over any given day to any number of people (before it resets for the next day!). This is one of THE MOST ESSENTIAL reasons that I am so glad slash grateful slash happy that I get to work with children. I am able to give out hugs, cuddles, reassuring pats, more hugs, and even more cuddles on a daily basis. A positive consequence of all these actions is the reciprocation. There is nothing more heart-warming than genuine connections with children who know that you truly care for them and return the same love through spontaneous hugs, hanging off my leg, playing with my hair or curling into my lap. Or my personal favourite: when they're crying and no other teacher will do and they seek you out, even if it means crying for longer if they'd just gone to the first teacher who tried to help them.
So, yes. That's my post for tonight. After re-reading it, it feels a bit disorganized, but that's my head tonight. The alcohol may have influenced the style of writing this evening... Whoops!
Much love and here's hoping for no hangover tomorrow! M
Week 2 of school is done. And so am I. I don't remember being this tired last year... I had a bunch of Arbonne stuff this week and meetings and more meetings and Meet the Teacher Night... I've pretty much decided I'm staying in bed all night tonight. I have some more Arbonne parties this weekend and a photoshoot, so I won't be getting much rest over the next two days either... I will likely be in bed by ten tonight. #noshame I'm hoping that as I settle into the new routine, my body will get used to it. I'm also hoping Caysee's 7 months and counting bladder infection goes away ANY DAY NOW. Lately, I've been getting up 3-4 times a night with her; it's almost like having a baby minus, you know, the whole having a baby and breastfeeding thing. I was going through my old hard drive not too long ago and came across some amazing photos and/or old documents/quotations. So, in an effort to be a little bit entertaining, here are some photos!
High School trip to Canada's Wonderland on the Ghoster Coaster
Grad formal
Last day of high school!
This one time we did "Century Club". This was us hitting the 25 mark. The back of my shirt read "First to puke" and naturally, I was.
Hopefully next week's entries will be a little more consistent! In the mean time, have an excellent weekend and thanks, as always, for your constant support. Much love and then some more! Meaghan
Tonight is the last free night I've got for awhile... Starting tomorrow, I am jam packed full of amazing things Arbonne, staff meetings, region meetings, Meet the Teacher Night and even more Arbonne. I totally decided to enjoy tonight by cleaning the fish tank, cleaning the kitchen and preparing lunches for the next few days. A clean kitchen is totally under rated. Every time I walk in, I feel a happiness that is completely nonsensical and ridiculous. I smiled the last time because the counter was clear. Awesome. Also super happy because: a) it hit an amazing 41 degrees today! b) my Arbonne Holiday Line arrived! c) my OrganicsLive was delivered! d) I rediscovered my love for Rookie Blue Totally a number of small to medium victories for me today. Let the craziness commence! So much love, Megs
I'm having one of those days where my heart is just so full. The people I'm surrounded by make me feel SO lucky and grateful. Whether they're talking me out of an irrational moment to inspiring me, believing in me, or loving me, to simply just being there for me, I am beyond lucky. And so thankful. Happy Monday! Love muchly. M
Being back at work is both invigorating and exhausting. I spent a lot of the summer being an insomniac and this week has been awesome for tiring me out and getting me back to the real world. Running every other day is also super helpful. I ran 3.92 km today without stopping and I powered up every hill I came across! I'm super super proud of myself. Tomorrow after work, I head for Albany... Should be a great six hour drive with two of my Arbonne besties. We have a conference all day Saturday and then another six hour drive home! Hopefully I am awake enough for the entire drive! And hopefully we all remember our passports!
Needless to say, it's unlikely I'll be posting tomorrow, so have an amazing weekend, my amazing readers! I'm off to Kellie's for what will be a great evening of chatting, catching up and filling buckets.
Today was absolutely exhausting and then I had piano to boot, so my mind is pretty much unable to function in terms of writing anything (it just took me 30 minutes to write a quick paragraph for a work email), so I'm going to spare you all today. However, I did want to take this opportunity to thank you for reading my blog! Whether you are a first time reader to having been around the past couple of years, I hope you know how much I appreciate your time, your comments, your energy and everything and anything else you contribute to my life. Much, much love. Enjoy the tunes. xox. Meaghan
I hope you all sung that in your Billy Madison voice. First day back... A little bit more stressful than I had imagined it to be, but talking with parents during our parent interviews gave me a lot more confidence in myself and my ability to do so. I've been talking to parents for 10 years, I'm not sure why I was worried! I've totally got this. The fact that I also have an amazingly competent teaching partner also helps immensely! I look forward to having 3/4 of our class tomorrow and meeting all our little itty bitty Kindies! Had a dinner date with Steph tonight at Jane Bond... I was starving, so we pretty much arrived there as soon as the restaurant opened. As a result, it would have been a long time to wait for my Cauliflour Curry, so I decided to be brave (for the second time today!) and try something new. I also indulged in a Watermelon Lemonade Cocktail. Not so delicious. The Enchilada plate I ordered was also not delicious, but I still rammed it down my throat quickly care of my hunger. I was ready for the bill, but Steph piped up, "Any vegan dessert?" to which I found out there was a Chocolate Mousse Pie. Clearly, I spoke up. "Done." And let me tell you... Possibly the most delicious thing I have ever eaten in my life! Pre-vegan (and a large reason I initially went vegan) I could down an entire box of Lindor chocolates. You know how the middles are soft and creamy? Clearly the best part. THAT is what this vegan mousse pie deliciousness tasted like. Every bite was like eating the middle of a Lindor. I tried to carry on a conversation with Steph, but as I ate, I would close my eyes and just taste it. My sentences would drop off mid-way through. I actually had to keep myself from moaning in the middle of Jane Bond. It was almost embarrassing, but it was just so good that I didn't even care! Did I get a slice to go? Sure did! I get to relive it all again tomorrow. I cannot even wait.
I dumbly/smartly signed up to do a 5k obstacle course/zombie chase/run at the end of this month. I've been a "runner" on and off for a few years now. I use the quotations because I've been off more than on, and I was never really the biggest fan of running... until this weekend. Two things have made running progress from "dislike" to "like" (and hopefully one day to "LOVE"!):
1) It is so underrated in terms of being alone and disconnected (and yet connected) from/to the entire world. Running is one of the few times my phone is ignored, my music is pumped and I can ignore everything, except for myself. It gives me time to think, evaluate, and then re-evaluate my first thought all over again. I've come to many epiphanies lately while running, most of them related to personal growth and why I feel the need to compare myself to others constantly (this is a big one, but I'm definitely working on it). 2) Finishing. Starting out as a new runner is so tough because you can't go far, you get out of breath, and you feel like a failure because you spend so much time walking... Lately, I've just started pushing myself to keep going. If I'm unable to continue, I'll let myself walk and I'll pick something in the near distance "When I get to that ______, I'll start running again" and I do. I'm starting to go further distances without stopping. The best part about finishing at the cottage is the little lake. I basically just strip down and dive in. So amazing.
I've already started losing weight and firming up areas that were giving me trouble and I know that continuing to run (and eating healthy) will get me into really great shape. Additionally, I'm working on planking and doing squats every day to strengthen my core and to stop being such a flat ass! Haha. Maybe I'll even be in great enough shape to outrun the zombies on the 28th! Here's hoping! Much love and happiness! M
So, today, I finally had the chance to hook up my external hard drive to the laptop I'm borrowing. I was so happy to have my 10 thousand songs back at my finger tips and have basically spent many hours today tweaking, adding, deleting and creating new playlists. I've had to create my third "favourites" playlist and it's already over 30 songs strong and different from my earlier "editions" (possibly because of a different place I'm at in my life - ooh, deep). My favourite songs (hip hop, rap and some pop aside) usually have sad undertones and are songs I can usually sing along to. I'm sure I've mentioned it, but I'm totally that girl you see at a stop light or driving by that is full out singing at the top of her lungs, emotion apparent on her face because she's giving it her all. Yep, that's me. And during the summer, it's me with sunglasses over my glasses because it's so bright. I'm sure it's an absolute sight to behold, but for those of you who have not yet seen it (or participated in it with me), you're welcome for the mental image. I'm also a car dancer too. Adds to the fun!
Can we just talk about Justin Timberlake at the VMAs for a moment? As I was watching his medley on the show, I remembered all these amazing songs he's released over the years and how so many of the songs were an integral part and representative of my life at many given times. Love/Stoned and My Love came out at a point in my life where I was joined at the hip with my "best friend" (though years later, I found out I was never her best friend; only her boyfriends were her best friends - uh, okay). That was a time in my life where I drank a lot, smoked a lot and danced 5 nights a week... We would hit Philthy's Mondays and Fridays, Louie's Tuesdays, Thursdays and/or Saturdays, sometimes Rev on Friday, sometimes Phil's on Wednesday or Sunday; it was pretty intense. We used to have dance parties here while we got ready, often dressing alike, singing our hearts out and just acting like complete asses. (If you think I'm somewhat selfie-lovin' now, you should have seen me back in those days). Cry Me a River was my ring tone on my old pink Razr and I still immediately check my phone for a call whenever I hear it. That song still makes me sad over his break up with Britney (though I totally have a huge girl-crush on Jessica Biel). And hello, Dick In a Box? CLASSIC. I still watch that video and die. Then there's his dancing... I wouldn't say that just standing still and silent that Justin Timberlake is god's gift to women, but the second he starts to move his body, I'm in. I think I would be one of those screaming teenage girls if I ever saw him, which is totally shameful, but so so likely. When Jimmy Fallon introduced him as the "King of Pop" at the VMAs, I was like, "hold up, that's MJ"... but as I watched the performance, remembering these songs and the memories they held for me, I totally started thinking, "yes... yes... YES, he totally is the current king of pop." Totally deserving, totally inspiring and totally makes me swoon as soon as starts to rock his body.
I didn't leave my house until 7ish tonight for dodgeball (which was one of the highlights of the day, obviously) and despite having done housework, stuff for Arbonne, texting with my butterfly buddy and a bunch of friends, drinking tea with my mom, etc, etc... I was totally STIR CRAZY. We had thunderstorms on and off most of today (got my laundry off the line moments before the sky opened up) and while I love the rain, I do not love my dog under my feet from terror and being stuck in the house. Luckily, dodgeball was a great escape and as it was our last game of the season, we hit up the "bar" (I use the term loosely) up at RIM Park to have a beer and some nachos (they didn't have Somersby and I'd already had nachos for lunch + the whole non-Meaghan-friendly thing), so I gulped down my lemon water. Lots of good convo, some team bonding and fun times tonight. Much love to my team. You make Mondays totally bearable! Love, M
Hello, my loves! Sorry for the absence in posting... Those silly holidays at the cottage always seem to get in the way of keeping on top of this blog! I just wanted to touch on something that has made quite the impact on my life: getting butterflies! It has been so long, that a) I had not only forgotten what it was like to have them, and b) I was worried I'd been so broken that I'd never have them again. I am super happy to report that that is not the case. I had an amazing week, perfect weather, super company and my heart is so warm. Thank you. Love, Meaghan
My mind is filled with too many thoughts, too many directions I want to go, too many people I want to connect with... I don't think writing right now would be very logical. My head is all over the place (99% of these thoughts positive and amazing and great); I just feel super scatterbrained, so I'm going to say good night and sweet dreams. Before I do though, I will mention that Brendon, you totally kicked my ass at running tonight. Thank you! Love, Meaghan
Oh, wow, where do I even start!? I just got home from our monthly Arbonne meeting and training session, which is always super uplifting and motivating. At the end, our National Vice President(s) let us know that they'd be recognizing different individuals at each meeting from now on for various things such as struggles, accomplishments, being "rock stars" and the like. Mike began to talk about one of us "who doesn't realize the potential she has. She has the dream, she WANTS the dream, but she doesn't know that she can do it"*. He turned and looked at me, "You knew it was you." to which I responded, "Yep. I did." I received a beautiful journal (plus hugs and kisses and applause and support and LOVE) to help record my dreams and visions. I can never speak highly enough about Arbonne or what it has done for me in terms of self-esteem, self-confidence and my constant desire to be a better person and succeed. Additionally, my agency called and as soon as I responded, "Hi, Jane!" she replied, "You got it!" to which I screamed, danced and jumped up and down in my kitchen. I'm going to be doing a SEVEN PAGE SPREAD in Grand, a magazine about "Living Well in Waterloo Region, Ontario". To say that I was over the moon is an understatement, especially considering how I've been feeling about my body lately. I shared it with a few special people (while I was still jumping around the kitchen) and got even more excited that they were so happy for me. It has been such an amazing and uplifting day. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your support, positive energy and love. Know that I return it all ten-fold. Love, M *not verbatim, but how I remember it happening!
I've heard from people multiple times that they're uncomfortable answering their phones, despite having call display and knowing who it is. I mean, I'm absolutely guilty of it. I don't even like to answer my front door if it's unexpected. Have we really entered into such an uncomfortable place that we'd rather text, email or facebook our friends and family instead of talking to them? I thought this was interesting, and a segue way into what I really wanted to talk about... I got a phone call today from my agency to let me know that I'd been chosen as a possible candidate for a magazine spread in The Grand (a local print), but they needed to know my measurements and have recent photos sent in. I have been SO envious of a number of my model friends who have appeared in the magazine (and some of them more than once!) and here it is, my chance to be in it too! I dashed my own hopes though as soon as I heard "they'd like your measurements". Ahh! For the last week (minus a cheat day. Or two!) I have been busting my butt: doing squats, planking, running, attempting to bike with airless tires... and now all of a sudden, I need to share my measurements. And clearly a week hasn't changed much... The horror of it all. But then I said to myself, you know what? FORGET IT (but I actually used a different 'f' word)! I'm sending those numbers, I'm finding my most recent pictures (thanks, iPhone - sorry one of them involved me proudly holding a Somersby) and I am going to continue to bust my ass for the body I want. If they pick me, amazing. If they don't, I'm not dead. I still have plenty of time to realize my goals and achieve my dreams. So, this entry is for all of you who have had more cheat days than good days; it's not too late! You have the choice and the chance to give yourself a better, healthier life. Don't punish yourself for the bad days, they are going to happen. Move forward. Do your best. FEEL your best. You can do it! PLEASE get in touch with me or call me if you need a chat, need advice, need help or need a running buddy! Love and health! M
