Live and Learn

So, today, I finally had the chance to hook up my external hard drive to the laptop I'm borrowing.  I was so happy to have my 10 thousand songs back at my finger tips and have basically spent many hours today tweaking, adding, deleting and creating new playlists.  I've had to create my third "favourites" playlist and it's already over 30 songs strong and different from my earlier "editions" (possibly because of a different place I'm at in my life - ooh, deep).  My favourite songs (hip hop, rap and some pop aside) usually have sad undertones and are songs I can usually sing along to.  I'm sure I've mentioned it, but I'm totally that girl you see at a stop light or driving by that is full out singing at the top of her lungs, emotion apparent on her face because she's giving it her all.  Yep, that's me.  And during the summer, it's me with sunglasses over my glasses because it's so bright.  I'm sure it's an absolute sight to behold, but for those of you who have not yet seen it (or participated in it with me), you're welcome for the mental image.  I'm also a car dancer too.  Adds to the fun!


Current song playing on my Favourites Ed. 3:

Love, love and then some more!
- Megs

JT

Can we just talk about Justin Timberlake at the VMAs for a moment?  As I was watching his medley on the show, I remembered all these amazing songs he's released over the years and how so many of the songs were an integral part and representative of my life at many given times.  Love/Stoned and My Love came out at a point in my life where I was joined at the hip with my "best friend" (though years later, I found out I was never her best friend; only her boyfriends were her best friends - uh, okay).  That was a time in my life where I drank a lot, smoked a lot and danced 5 nights a week...  We would hit Philthy's Mondays and Fridays, Louie's Tuesdays, Thursdays and/or Saturdays, sometimes Rev on Friday, sometimes Phil's on Wednesday or Sunday; it was pretty intense.  We used to have dance parties here while we got ready, often dressing alike, singing our hearts out and just acting like complete asses.  (If you think I'm somewhat selfie-lovin' now, you should have seen me back in those days). 
Cry Me a River was my ring tone on my old pink Razr and I still immediately check my phone for a call whenever I hear it. That song still makes me sad over his break up with Britney (though I totally have a huge girl-crush on Jessica Biel).
And hello, Dick In a Box?  CLASSIC.  I still watch that video and die.
Then there's his dancing...  I wouldn't say that just standing still and silent that Justin Timberlake is god's gift to women, but the second he starts to move his body, I'm in.  I think I would be one of those screaming teenage girls if I ever saw him, which is totally shameful, but so so likely.  When Jimmy Fallon introduced him as the "King of Pop" at the VMAs, I was like, "hold up, that's MJ"... but as I watched the performance, remembering these songs and the memories they held for me, I totally started thinking, "yes...  yes... YES, he totally is the current king of pop."  Totally deserving, totally inspiring and totally makes me swoon as soon as starts to rock his body.

Happy dancing,
M

Have your own little JT dance party! 

Solo Dance Party

Just had a major solo dance party to Ciara's new album while getting ready.  No twerking though, sorry guys.

Love.
M

Stir Crazy

I didn't leave my house until 7ish tonight for dodgeball (which was one of the highlights of the day, obviously) and despite having done housework, stuff for Arbonne, texting with my butterfly buddy and a bunch of friends, drinking tea with my mom, etc, etc... I was totally STIR CRAZY.  We had thunderstorms on and off most of today (got my laundry off the line moments before the sky opened up) and while I love the rain, I do not love my dog under my feet from terror and being stuck in the house.  Luckily, dodgeball was a great escape and as it was our last game of the season, we hit up the "bar" (I use the term loosely) up at RIM Park to have a beer and some nachos (they didn't have Somersby and I'd already had nachos for lunch + the whole non-Meaghan-friendly thing), so I gulped down my lemon water.  Lots of good convo, some team bonding and fun times tonight.  Much love to my team.  You make Mondays totally bearable!

Love,
M

Bubblegum Benadryl

Hello, my loves!

Sorry for the absence in posting...  Those silly holidays at the cottage always seem to get in the way of keeping on top of this blog!

I just wanted to touch on something that has made quite the impact on my life: getting butterflies!  It has been so long, that a) I had not only forgotten what it was like to have them, and b) I was worried I'd been so broken that I'd never have them again.  I am super happy to report that that is not the case.

I had an amazing week, perfect weather, super company and my heart is so warm.

Thank you.
Love,
Meaghan

The Brain That Won't Sleep

My mind is filled with too many thoughts, too many directions I want to go, too many people I want to connect with...  I don't think writing right now would be very logical.  My head is all over the place (99% of these thoughts positive and amazing and great); I just feel super scatterbrained, so I'm going to say good night and sweet dreams.

Before I do though, I will mention that Brendon, you totally kicked my ass at running tonight.  Thank you!

Love,
Meaghan

Just Elated

Oh, wow, where do I even start!?  I just got home from our monthly Arbonne meeting and training session, which is always super uplifting and motivating.  At the end, our National Vice President(s) let us know that they'd be recognizing different individuals at each meeting from now on for various things such as struggles, accomplishments, being "rock stars" and the like.  Mike began to talk about one of us "who doesn't realize the potential she has.  She has the dream, she WANTS the dream, but she doesn't know that she can do it"*.  He turned and looked at me, "You knew it was you." to which I responded, "Yep.  I did."  I received a beautiful journal (plus hugs and kisses and applause and support and LOVE) to help record my dreams and visions.  I can never speak highly enough about Arbonne or what it has done for me in terms of self-esteem, self-confidence and my constant desire to be a better person and succeed.

Additionally, my agency called and as soon as I responded, "Hi, Jane!" she replied, "You got it!" to which I screamed, danced and jumped up and down in my kitchen.  I'm going to be doing a SEVEN PAGE SPREAD in Grand, a magazine about "Living Well in Waterloo Region, Ontario".  To say that I was over the moon is an understatement, especially considering how I've been feeling about my body lately.  I shared it with a few special people (while I was still jumping around the kitchen) and got even more excited that they were so happy for me.  It has been such an amazing and uplifting day.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your support, positive energy and love.  Know that I return it all ten-fold.

Love,
M

*not verbatim, but how I remember it happening!

Your Ideal Body

I've heard from people multiple times that they're uncomfortable answering their phones, despite having call display and knowing who it is.  I mean, I'm absolutely guilty of it.  I don't even like to answer my front door if it's unexpected.  Have we really entered into such an uncomfortable place that we'd rather text, email or facebook our friends and family instead of talking to them?  I thought this was interesting, and a segue way into what I really wanted to talk about...

I got a phone call today from my agency to let me know that I'd been chosen as a possible candidate for a magazine spread in The Grand (a local print), but they needed to know my measurements and have recent photos sent in.  I have been SO envious of a number of my model friends who have appeared in the magazine (and some of them more than once!) and here it is, my chance to be in it too!  I dashed my own hopes though as soon as I heard "they'd like your measurements".  Ahh!  For the last week (minus a cheat day. Or two!) I have been busting my butt: doing squats, planking, running, attempting to bike with airless tires...  and now all of a sudden, I need to share my measurements.  And clearly a week hasn't changed much...  The horror of it all.  But then I said to myself, you know what?  FORGET IT (but I actually used a different 'f' word)!  I'm sending those numbers, I'm finding my most recent pictures (thanks, iPhone - sorry one of them involved me proudly holding a Somersby) and I am going to continue to bust my ass for the body I want.  If they pick me, amazing.  If they don't, I'm not dead.  I still have plenty of time to realize my goals and achieve my dreams.

So, this entry is for all of you who have had more cheat days than good days; it's not too late!  You have the choice and the chance to give yourself a better, healthier life.  Don't punish yourself for the bad days, they are going to happen.  Move forward.  Do your best.  FEEL your best.  You can do it!  PLEASE get in touch with me or call me if you need a chat, need advice, need help or need a running buddy!

Love and health!
M

Tattoos

So, I found this today and am so in love.  Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a total nature freak.  What you may not know about me, is that I am also in love love love with tattoos.  If you were to take a peek at who I follow on instragram, you'd find a lot of tattoo and ink accounts because I think they're absolutely gorgeous, creative and unique.  

I'd wanted to get a tattoo since I was eighteen, but I had NO idea what to get.  I knew I would never be the impulsive tattoo-getter (and not just because I have a terribly low pain tolerance).  I wanted to get something that would be meaningful and that I wouldn't regret when I was older.  It took me ten years just to figure out that I wanted to get an "S" on my back.  I'm very huge into family history and genealogy and my last name, as well as mom's maiden name, both start with an S. I figured this was something simple, pretty and nothing I'd be remorseful about when I was wrinkly and 80.

I headed into Berlin Tattoo (formerly Faith and Glory) to get Colin, an old friend from high school who used to draw tattoos on us at parties with permanent marker, to design the tattoo for me.  I loved the design, had it tattooed on and then two years later, decided I wanted more.  I ended up adding four surnames onto my back in between branches and leaves.  Instead of crying during the pain, I'd scream and swear at the top of my lungs.  Some parts of my back didn't hurt at all; my love handle area however, was so intense and severe that it took everything I had to finish the three hour session.  One of my former friends from Christa O'Connor Photography came along to photograph the experience.

Naturally, I don't have a finished product photo, so the best I can do is me sunning in the back yard.

Do you have any tattoos?  If not, what do you want to get? 

Thanks for reading!
Much love,
Meaghan

Farms, Friends and Thievery

This morning my brother, nephew and I ventured to Steckle Farms, where one of my friends (and his fam jam) pretty much run the place.  We talked animals, gardens, vegetables, wet lands, fruit, bees, honey and basically anything farm related.  Additionally, we saw a cow, goats, pigs, piglets, horses, chickens, roosters, sheep, llamas, etc, etc...  I was pretty much on a high all day just from that!  But then I went and saw a movie with a friend and then had dinner with another great friend.  Such a good social day.  I've been trying to see/actually talk with at least one person/friend every day because I miss those genuine connections not found via text/email/facebook.  They're great, and I'm totally a social media queen slash texter extraordinaire, but there is nothing like a voice or face to face...  Face to face usually ends in a hug, of which I am a huge, huge, HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan!  

However, the introvert in me (and I really only discovered what it meant to be introverted last year reading Quiet, a book I'd intended to give someone else as a good-bye present (SUCH A GREAT BOOK; sorry but not sorry that I kept it!)) was exhausted.  I basically got home, let the dog out, threw on my jammies and crawled into bed.  And here I am.  Did I spend my hour writing?  Maybe not all in one place, but probably.  Did I do all my squats?  I hit 80.  And for a tired soul like myself, that is good enough.

Sweet dreams, my loves.
Meaghan

Cleaning, Singing and Planking

Today was such a GOOD day!  I had a friend over this morning for a visit with the pooch and lunch, so I had to be up early to get some cleaning done.  What a sense of accomplishment to put dishes away, tidy up and vacuum the house before 10 am!  Revealing my age much by discussing the joys of a clean home?  Don't care!  The visit was great, lunch was AMAZING, and then I came home and practiced piano (mostly sang at the top of my lungs)...  I'm learning "Run to You" by Whitney Houston so when I would get to a part that I couldn't play quickly enough, I'd just sing it instead (sorry, neighbours).

After piano, I did some reading and work on the comp, worked on my squats, planked for a bit (um, not so good at it...  but working on it!) and then hit the road for a bike ride.  Sadly, I noticed my tires needed some air, but I went anyway.  Needless to say, I did not make it as far as I would have liked to... but I was still huffing and puffing and red in the face when I got home, so it was still a legit work out!

Now I'm off to focus some more time on Arbonne, perhaps watch a movie and then hit the sack!  Tomorrow I get to hang out with my brother and nephew at a friend's farm, go see The Wolverine with another friend, and then out to Jane Bond for some food with one of my dearest.  Should be another super day.

Have a great evening.
Much love,
M

I'm Back Part Deux

One of the ways I'm looking to grow is with my physical health. As many of you know, I've suffered from light-headed and fainting spells for a number of years now with no diagnosis from a number of medical professionals that I have seen.  One commonality between a few of the "I don't know"s and the "I'm not sure how to proceed with this" was the advice to drink more water.  My blood pressure has always been on the extreme low side of normal; it's usually never over 100 - even during stressful or anxiety-producing situations or spans of time.  After much time spent attempting to force myself to drink more water, I am finally at the point now that I can maintain some level of normalcy in terms of being hydrated.  Initially I had to choke down the water, pushing aside the feeling of drowning, fullness and/or vomiting to get my body used to the amount of water most healthy, able-bodied people drink.  Some days, it's still a struggle...  but then I think of losing part of a front tooth, a couple awful-looking goose eggs and having had my forehead glued back together, not to mention that these light-headed episodes take me out for an entire day, and all of a sudden, my body is much more accepting in taking that H2O.

Today, I hopped back on the running train.  Not only do I have two weeks before I have to appear in a bathing suit in what will likely be a fairly self-conscious scenario, but I also signed up for the Brampton Zombie Run 5k race/obstacle course at the end of September.  I intend to work out at least five days a week, whether it be running/jogging, walking Caysee and/or biking, but here it is written in stone.  I also plan on doing 100 squats a day for the next week (to start) with a 5lb. kettle bell.

Additionally, I am going to stop eating junk food for meals.  Chips for dinner?  No.  Three energy bars for breakfast?  Absolutely not.  8 pieces of toast with jam and/or garlic bread an hour before bed?  NO MORE (so disgusting).  It's not realistic for me to cut out junky food altogether; doing that would enable me to binge and then feel bad about it and then eat more to deal with my emotions.  Ahh, to be me sometimes.

I'll make sure to keep you updated on my journey(s) in all aspects of life so that a) those I don't necessarily keep in touch with on a regular basis get their "Meaghan" fix (totally kidding), b) I get writing on a regular basis and c) I am accountable as soon as I write things down.  Plus, I will have a running record of my small victories on a daily basis!

As always,
much love and then even more!
- M

I'm Back!!!

...maybe.

I know I left abruptly, but I was having a really, really hard time seeing the positive in ANY day, much less every day... and I just felt like I would be lying to my readers (and myself), if I tried to pretend that there was anything overly amazing going on.

Fortunately, I have discovered my love for life and everything around me again (from the big to the small).  I am grateful to so many people for their constant support, my re-found ability to stop suffering at the hands of someone else and to start dismissing people that impact me negatively from my life.  I am still working on the latter, but there were a few toxic individuals that I would dread seeing; those that I had to pretend to like when I was around them and who treated me horribly despite my effort to be kind and feign an interest during our five minute interactions.

I've been reading a lot of books lately that have helped me focus on myself, my fears and my self-confidence.  Since last year, I have also gotten an amazing new job and started my own business as a consultant for a health and wellness company.  I am constantly surrounding myself with people who are positive, loving life and who want me to be the best me that I can be.  Cheese aside, I am so so so lucky and thankful every day to be around people that impact me in such a profound way.

I had a huge chat with two of my favourite people today (on the beach!!) on ways we can each improve our own lives and try to figure out what it is that we want from this life.  I know that I am meant for more than the ordinary.  I have never seen myself as the type to grow up, get married, have children, have grandchildren and then just die.  There is absolutely not one single thing wrong with that life; but I know that there is more out there for me and I am working to figure out what that is!  Part of our chat today happened due to a cd I was just listening to.  Robin Sharma, though I'm not overly a huge fan of his work (his "Guide to Greatness" (so far) is doing very little for me), however, he did suggest taking ten things that you love to do, that you have a passion for, and spending the next ten weeks doing an hour of one of those things every single day.  I am still working on my list, but so far I have come up with:
1) Writing
2) Reading
3) Singing
4) Dancing
5) Eating
Currently, I am working on number one, spending an hour every day this week writing, which is why I'm here!  I can't promise I'll be here every single day, but I want to be and I will absolutely work towards it.  One of my aspirations in life (and has been since I first put pen to paper) is to write a book, so I may be spending time on that as well.  I have to say, I'm really looking forward to finishing my list and spending time doing these things (I can't wait for singing and dancing).

What would be on your list?

I hope to see you tomorrow!
Thank you, as always, for reading, and for your support.
Much love and I hope you are all enjoying your summer!
Love,
M

PS - edit: The "normal" lifestyle I was talking about is something I still want too.  I meant IN ADDITION to getting married and having babies and all that jazz, I know there is more out there for me.  xox.