I'm sad because he's dead, and I'm really upset by the cause. Already today, I have read too many internet warriors claiming that suicide is the weak way to go, that it's cowardly, or that it's selfish. And to that, I respond, "fuck you". You have clearly never suffered through mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, (and if you have, and you still think it's selfish, then I have no words for you).
I want you to go back to the darkest time in your life and really remember how you felt, and then pretend that it never got better. Pretend that it got worse. Then, imagine that the only future you can see is one where being dead is better off than being alive. Picture that and the constant demons you have to battle.
I know you're probably thinking, "Meaghan, what the fuck do YOU know about mental illness? You're pretty, you're skinny, you live with your boyfriend, you own a house, you have a job, you run your own business, you're constantly posting pictures of all the amazing things in your life." And I do have an amazing life, one that I am beyond grateful for, but that was not always the case. Maybe one day I will go into detail about it, but for now, the long of the short is that I am a survivor of bullying, depression, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and that I used to hold blades to my arms with dreams of "saving" myself. I know how dark things are when you truly believe that death is better than what is coming. When you don't see a life beyond a certain age.
So, why is this a small victory? It's not. I'm not looking for the joy in suicide, I'm hoping that people use their empathy skills today and put away their judgments. I'm hoping people will remember that mental illness is an actual thing and that you have absolutely no idea what other people are going through, despite what their facebook/instagram suggests. Be kind to each other and love each other. That's what we all really need. Now, imagine me giving you a hug through the screen and for those of you going through a rough time, REACH OUT TO SOMEONE. You are not alone and you are loved, no matter what kind of head space you are in.
Much love and then a fucking shit ton more,