Don't Speak, Unless What You Have To Say is More Beautiful Than Silence

Last night even I was speechless.  And enraged.  So, it was a good idea for me to steer clear of any form of writing.  I simply just do not understand why people's brains often work the way they do, when all forms of common sense and human decency are erased.  And the selfishness!  Even though other people claim their reasoning behind what they did is for your benefit.  Please. 

The butterflies died last night.  I had a really great chat last week where I was able to discuss my feelings and expectations, and the next day, I knew in my gut that it was the beginning of the end.  I had high hopes, as I always do, but they died too.  One of the things that hurts is that I feel like I have so much love to give, but that no one wants it.  I don't get it.  

In some of the early butterfly chats, I would always be apologizing for this and that, and I was told to "stop apologizing".  To be honest, I'd never realized I was doing it.  Last night, at Arbonne training (after I was awarded my gorgeous earrings!!), a woman got up to speak and was waiting for the room to quiet down.  As one of my friends finished up her convo, she said "sorry!" and the woman replied "don't ever apologize.  Apologizing devalues who you are as a person.  You can make mistakes, but don't apologize for them."  So, maybe that's what this was for me; another lesson learned about who I am and that I should never apologize for it.  And if you don't want all I have to give, then you don't deserve it anyway.

I have a lot of amazing ideas for entries in the future...  a lot that focus on personal growth and improving your own situation; the way that I strive to improve mine every day.

I expect to bounce back in no time at all.

In the mean time, I've got a gala to attend with the best and most reliable date ever.

Much love my friends.
M

Grandfatherly Love...

When my grandfather's wife died and we had to clean out the house, I took on the task of photo albums - distribution, scanning, creating photo books, etc...  I had gotten through a huge chunk of the many, MANY photo albums when my external hard drive died, taking all of those hours and photos away with it.

I bought a new scanner today and I've been working away in between trick or treaters.  I came to realize that a) my grandfather never missed any of his grandchildrens' birthdays.  Not once!  and b) that I never really truly realized the love he had for me when he was alive.  I always knew he loved me, but finding photos tonight I'd never seen before really made get it.  When I was in grade four, my school choir sang on television for Christmas.  I found pictures of it.  He took pictures of me on his television screen because that's how much he loved me.  If that's not the greatest of all types of love, I don't know what is. 

Thank you for today.  I love you back and I miss you every single day.

Love and family!
- Meaghan